![]() – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”Ģ000 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”ġ985 A.D. – “That prayer is a superstition, drink this potion.”ġ940 A.D. – “That root is a demon, say this prayer.”ġ850 A.D. “I know,” said the doctor, “but I can cure pneumonia!” Full Circleġ000 B.C. “But if I do that, I’ll risk getting pneumonia doc,” replied the man. Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.” When the man returned again, the doctor told him, “Go home. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t help either. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didn’t help. One day, a man stumbled into his doctor’s office with a terrible cold. “I had to call the doctor!” He Has the Cure ![]() “Well that explains one ear,” the boss replied, “but what about the other one?” ![]() “Well, yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron.” His boss asks him, “Jeez, what happened to your ears?” If I treat someone with pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia.” A Game of TelephoneĪ guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up. Patient: “Hey doc, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.”ĭoctor: “No worries here, that won’t happen to me. The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then her nose and yelled again, “Ouch! That also hurts.” Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, “Even that hurts doc.”Īfter examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion… the woman had a broken finger. “What do you mean all over?” the doctor asked, “Can you be a little more specific?” Patient: “Not really, I end up spilling most of it.” Aches and PainsĪ woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body. Patient: “Please help me! I can’t stop my hands from shaking.” I heard he really made a spectacle out of himself. Only if you aim it well enough! Hindsight is 20/20ĭid you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? Jones: “What?!” the man goes, “How could there possibly be worse news than that?!”ĭoctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.” Long Shotĭoes an apple a day really keep the doctor away? Jones: “Oh jeez, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.”ĭoctor: “The bad news” doctor notes, “is that I got your test results and you have 24 hours to live.” I have some bad news and some very bad news… which would you like to hear first?” Nurse: “So far, still no change.” Tick Tock Goes the Clockĭoctor: “Mr. Another Day, Another Dollarĭoctor: “I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. The man replies, “No, you idiot! This is her husband!” You’re Number 1Ī little plaque. “Is this her first child?” the doctor responds. “Urology office- can you hold?” New Dad SyndromeĪ man frantically calls the doctor and says, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart now!” How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone? The patient blushed and replied, “Compared to who?” The Bladder of a Peanut The Flirty DoctorĪ doctor turns to his patient and says, “Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.” “You’re not eating properly,” he replies. ![]() “What’s wrong with me?” she asks the doctor. She has a cucumber in her nose, a carrot in her left ear, and a banana in her right ear. One day, a woman walks into a doctor’s office. I never could before!” Fruit Salad, Yummy, Yummy Patient: “Hey Doc, is there any chance I’ll be able to play the violin after the operation?”ĭoctor: “After some healing, yes, of course!” Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have high blood pressure!” The Surgery Prodigy Hilarious Doctor JokesĮvery time you visit the doctor, make sure to read one of these hilarious doctor jokes to them: Forget-Me-Notĭoctor: “You have high blood pressure and amnesia.” Either way, these doctor jokes are sure to elicit a smile. It doesn’t matter whether they’re an eye doctor or a surgeon. Better yet, send a funny doctor pun to a co-worker or friend that works in medicine. Quote a one-liner and take a crack at comedy while at the doctor’s office to lighten your physician’s mood. Use this list of doctor jokes to find humorous puns, stories, and one-liners to share with your loved ones in the medical field. After a long, stressful day of practicing medicine, there’s nothing like some good doctor jokes to tickle your funny bone. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |